Day 149: Chinks in the Armor

Sadly, I’m not sure I will be running CIM, after all. It feels really awkward to write this, especially since I just posted two and three days ago about running it. However, this has always been the blog where I write about growing and changing. I also get to be honest, and even reveal chinks in the armor. Most of all, this is the blog where I write about my personal happiness journey. And happiness sometimes requires changing one’s plans. So there you go!

Meanwhile, I’ll fill you in:

It’s been a roller coaster since I ran the 27.5 miler three weeks ago. During that run, there was a moment where I felt something was… off.* It was my left leg. And I thought, “Oh crap,” but didn’t say “crap.” It wasn’t an acute pain, but I was immediately concerned that I had pushed too hard. “What if I couldn’t recover in time for CIM?”. I posted about it soon after, and there began a topsy-turvy dynamic of the last three weeks, where I’ve gone back and forth between optimism about doing CIM, and concern about not being able to.

In that time, I have done three semi-long weekend runs: a 12.5 miler, a 10 miler, and an 8 miler yesterday. I was quite optimistic after running the 12.5 miles, but the following week I experienced stiffness in my left thigh when I ran. I decided to take several days off. This helped me have a good time doing the Run to Feed the Hungry 5k on Thanksgiving. After two more days off, I went running yesterday morning set still set on doing next Sunday’s marathon. Unfortunately, running eight miles was another slog. My left thigh was stiff/sore for most of it, and I found myself spending most of the run imagining going as slow as possible in order to eek a finish next weekend… and still not being sure I would be able to.

Which is where I am right now. Barring some help from a physical therapist, which I am still waiting on, here are my current options as I see them:

  • take a super-slow marathon attempt while I’m not feeling my best and just hope it goes well
  • gracefully bow out, take in the lessons I’ve gotten this time around, and re-group for next time

I haven’t fully given up on the marathon attempt, but it’s not looking likely, unless something significant changes. For what it’s worth, I do feel satisfied with an amazing training experience, which I have loved writing about on this blog.

One way or another, there will be growth and personal transformation!

*I should say that it only really felt off given that I had a marathon in four weeks and was worried I wouldn’t be fully recovered. However, it wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t finish the race while enjoying myself.

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