You must put yourself first in order to be happy. If you leave it to chance, or leave it to someone else to figure out what you need, you will almost surely be disappointed.
All of us have biases and personal agendas. We all see through the lens of our unique perspective. This is natural and healthy, yet by definition, our perspective is not objective truth. Our perspective is unique to us. A salesman comes across a group of people and sees an opportunity to sell. A performer sees that same group as a potential audience to be inspired and entertained. A misanthrope sees the group as trouble to be avoided. We are inherently biased in the direction of our own interests, desires, and experiences.
Truth is subjective, and therefore we should all take the responsibility of honoring our own truth. Let no one else speak for you, for no one truly can. Speak for yourself, and you will more likely be satisfied and happy.
People are mostly well-meaning and want others to be happy. But happiness looks different for every person. Even if another person’s preferences seem to match ours, there will still be differences. Can anyone else truly understand what makes us be the way we are, think the way we think, and want what we want? What good do we expect from attempting to put our happiness into the hands of someone else?
Complicating this further is the fact that much of the world chooses being right over being happy. Because they believe they are right, they judge everyone who disagrees with them as wrong. This severely limits their ability to make a difference for others.
Finally, the desire for personal happiness can easily conflict with wanting to please others. If it comes down to personal happiness and pleasing others, choose your personal happiness. Trying to please others while displeasing or dishonoring yourself will likely please nobody.
Put your happiness first!