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Already a Great Year for Introspection

Posted on June 2, 2024

I admit it. The first five months of 2024 seemed, um, challenging. To be sure, everything is actually going fine. Maybe it’s growing pains. For whatever reason, it wasn’t always easy to keep my head on straight.

Maybe because of this, 2024 has already been a great year for introspection. I have mined some invaluable insights. Each of these items deserves its own blog post. For now, I’ll do my best to explain them all here.

Valuable Insights I am Getting This Year

  • I’m not just brick-laying. I’m building my cathedral. First, if you don’t know the brick-laying story, I recommend looking it up. It’s fabulous. To start off the year, I was diligently running and tracking each run as I have for many years. Yet running felt off in every sense: physically, mentally, and emotionally. I started asking myself why I was doing it. What was the running supposed to be giving me? The answer: it was supposed to increase my happiness. That’s the cathedral I’m building. Yet running didn’t feel like it was doing that. It felt more like laying bricks. My tracking especially started feeling pointless, like bean counting. I decided to take a running hiatus, which I have been on for three months, other than a few runs to and from the gym (about a mile one way). Meanwhile I am exercising nearly every day…. and I haven’t tracked a single workout since February. I feel like I’m back on course.
  • I can tolerate bugs on the windshield! This insight is a CG original. It reminds me that little annoyances don’t get to control my mood. For example, yesterday I was trying to drop something off, but the street was blocked off, so I had to stop my car in a no-parking zone. It was a bit annoying to have to make the drop off quickly while worrying about getting yelled at by City Workers (they didn’t: that was probably just me being pessismistic). I reminded myself, “This is just a bug on the windshield. It’s not worth getting upset over.” I’ve used this insight for bigger things, too. It’s a reminder to put daily occurrences into perspective. Most problems are just bugs on the windshield.
  • Just because I think it or feel it doesn’t make it true. One day while writing at the cafe, it finally dawned on me that feeling bad does not mean I am bad. This might seem obvious. For me, apparently it was not. This insight reminds me that I get to be human. I get to have a full range of emotions and moods. It is not a crime to feel bad.* Overwhelm, self-doubt, feelings of powerless. These are not “proof” of inability or unworthiness. Negative feeling presents an opportunity to reach for a better feeling thought, which I can always do. This puts me in the vibrational driver’s seat.
  • I don’t have to add energy to negative thoughts. I’m getting better at letting sleeping dogs lie, not barking up the wrong tree, not beating a dead horse… whatever cliche you use to mean indulging in actions that have no good outcome. These days, when I notice my thoughts are off, I am more likely to just chill, optimistic they will fade away. For instance, someone may give me a compliment. If I’m not in a great mood, my head resists. Okay, fine. But I’m not going add any agreement to the resistance. I politely say “Thank you” for this reminder of the Universe’s love and support, meanwhile knowing that the resistance is temporary and positive thoughts are on their way.

*This may be obvious, but it feels like a recent revelation in the world of Chris!

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