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Give Them a Break

Posted on January 29, 2024

Previously I wrote about being at the cafe with my friend. Someone was talking loudly next to us. My initial reaction was to be annoyed at the distraction, but then I remembered that its not this person’s job to make me happy. It’s my job. So I focused on listening to my friend and made the best of the situation. Eventually, the loud person left.

I’m getting better at not minding that sort of thing. Or at least, I’m better at reframing it when it happens and taking a more tolerant approach. Distracted driver or pedestrian not looking at me? “I don’t really like the lack of consideration, but do I want to get upset over this?”

Loud leaf blower outside? “Yes, it’s a bit annoying. But they aren’t trying to bother me. They are just doing their thing. Soon they will be done.”

Guy at gym bouncing basketball loudly right after our yoga class? “Ok, that definitely interrupts the mellow atmosphere. But maybe that dude reserved the room after us. He’s just trying to get his exercise on too.”

These are all examples of real instances where I instantly re-framed my reaction to admittedly annoying situations. It reminds me of Abraham’s advice: “No one is here to feather your nest.” In other words, people aren’t here just to make me happy. They aren’t trying to make me unhappy, either! They are just doing their thing. It’s my choice how I respond to them.

I’m choosing to give them a break as much as possible and focus on how I can make myself happy šŸ™‚

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