So back on Day 18 of my 365 Day Blogging Project, I wrote about how well I take to managing our money. It started way back in my days of bachelorhood, when I kept track of the in-flow and out-flow of my money using spreadsheets. At the time, a lot of my motivation was about not screwing up financially. I was worried about not having enough money to pay bills, comparatively modest though they may have been. At the same time, I was excited by the possibility of planning how I used my money, and having it available for life’s various purposes. So my world of money management arose partly out of the fear of failure and partly out of the excitement of opportunity.
To put it another way, I wanted to dig myself out of the hole of financial struggle and build my castle of financial well-being 🙂
Certainly I have not been shy about chronicling aspects of this journey on this blog. In fact, there are currently forty-five different entries in the “Money” category on this blog. I have had a lot of fun overall writing about money.
Yet recently I have started to feel a little, shall we say, self-conscious about it. The fact is, during the last week and a half or so I have felt a massive influx of energy towards the topic of planning our finances. I have spent much of my free time over this time thinking about, writing, and researching various financial topics, from retirement simulations to investment allocations, from online savings accounts to savings rates. Obviously, this has been reflected in my recent posts.
This morning I ran smack dab into my own self-consciousness. My daily posts reflect what is on my mind. And money has been on my mind! Therefore, it makes sense that I would be writing about it. Yet there is this voice in my head saying, “Don’t write too much about money. You will look like a greedy, money-grubbing a-hole. People won’t like you. You’ll be sorry.”
I know. That’s more brilliant headtrash… the voice I dubbed The Trashman long ago. The end result of receiving mixed money messages as a child. I mentioned this voice to my wife, and it was abundantly obvious that I don’t want to listen to it. So instead I am choosing to write about it.
And to claim back my territory, thusly:
This is my blog. I get to write about what I want to write about. If I want to write about money everyday, then I will! If I want to write about donuts everyday… well, I don’t… but if I did, I would!
And so I am calling out my own self-consciousness. I am allowing myself to be where I am at. I am owning my Money Management Fetish once again!
Freedom and Joy! Growth and Possibility! Onward and Upward!