Skip to content

My Happiness Obsession

Over 1000 Blog Posts!!

Menu
  • Home
  • About
  • Top Categories
    • Personal Growth
    • Money & Investing
    • Law of Attraction
    • Blogging
    • Running & Health
  • Complete Post Index
Menu

Meet Mr. Trashman (Warning: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE from the world’s biggest douchebag inside my head!)

Posted on April 26, 2016

First of all, let me say that at first I didn’t want to write this post.  In fact, a part of me still doesn’t.  But the rest of me thinks it might not turn out so bad (We shall see, right?).

I’m writing about a good friend of mine.  Do you know him?  He’s small, he’s squirrel-ly, he’s generally resistant to anything and everything, especially to change, since he generally doesn’t want to try anything new. Even if he knows it’s good for him. And even if the status quo sucks big-time. He also can be a foul-mouthed SOB and generally unpleasant company.

I live with him.

In fact, he lives inside my brain.  Let’s call him Mr. Trashman… because he always seems to bring the trash!  When he’s not ornery and unpleasant, he might be scared, risk-avoidant, skeptical, or suspicious.  Not to mention playing the victim, feeling sorry for himself, and wallowing in self-pity.   Or alternately hostile or combative.  All variations on the theme of Resistance.*

Here is a lovely example of the kind of brilliant thinking that he does… typed straight onto a word document just a few minutes ago:

this is stupid, no one cares, fuck this, fuck it all, fuck this stupid shit, fuck it all, this sucks, this is so stupid, fuck this, this is so stupid

(Note: I actually edited this out to shorten it and take out some of the worst, most hostile offenders… but you get the point, right?)

Please don’t take offense at the negativity!  I feel pretty stupid typing this stuff, because it makes me feel pretty lame.  Yet this is my chance to call it out, maybe it’ll do some good.    The point is, that sort of thinking is just junk. I KNOW that, however, it does make an appearance in my thinking… and too frequently for comfort, I’m sorry to say.

Sometimes Mr. Trashman is just plain scared.  Here is what I typed right before I started this blog earlier this month (I saved it for the purpose of sharing it here just so show you how awesome my brain can be):

Okay this seems completely crazy, this really doesn’t fit for me, shit i’m scared as fuck about this, i don’t want to fucking do this.  man, this scares me.  shit man, i can’t do this, i’m so scared, fuck this

As you can tell, Mr. Trashman has a high propensity to cuss.  Especially charming phrases such as “fuck this” etc.  Here’s his brilliant reaction to me working on an email I sent out last week to share this blog:

i shouldn’t promot myself, it will look bad, they won’t like it, people will think it’s really stupid, clearly it’s really stupid this is so dumb, what a fucking idiotic thing to do, this is so dumb, fuck this, fuck it, it’s really stupid.

Wow!  Such brilliance!  Such VISION!  Such greatness of spirit, such purpose!

NOT.

The only purpose it has is to try to derail me, to tell me not to act, to tell me it’s probably better to do nothing, to stay in my shell, to stay small, and lonely and bored.  To keep shit the same!  And by the way, generally to think negatively about the world, and to assume the worst.  Not to trust, not to stay open.  To pre-judge and to decide ahead of time to take the safe route, the lonely route, the miserly lone wolf route.

The good news is, this layer of resistance can be peeled away, like an old cobweb.  It usually only takes a moment or two for me to discharge this gross thinking and wash it away.  After which, I am able to think productively again.

Hence, this blog is getting done.

I have gone through this process hundreds of times now, probably thousands.  With just about every project I work on.  At first, I have to start by allowing Mr. Trashman to say a few fine words of inspiration and upliftment, then I DELETE that shit faster than you can say “No thanks, buddy, I’d rather choose to LIVE” and move on.

Sure, there are times when I just get going and the resistance isn’t there.  But usually it’s there, at least a bit.  And, sadly, sometimes it has gotten the best of me.  Yet I firmly believe that by doing things like writing about  in this blog, there is movement, there is hope.  Another score for me in the perennial game of darts against Mr. Trashman.   Because even if he’s always loaded and ready to strike, I’m a better shot.

How do you like them apples?

*If you want to read a REALLY good book on the topic of Resistance, and how to overcome it and be creatively productive, check out The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook

2 thoughts on “Meet Mr. Trashman (Warning: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE from the world’s biggest douchebag inside my head!)”

  1. Mary Helen Hough says:
    May 5, 2016 at 10:31 pm

    Mr. Trashman, you are very poetic. Risk taking is a good thing. Before taking a risk, ask yourself, what is the worst thing that can happen?. It’s your choice. Keep growing.

    1. Chris says:
      May 6, 2016 at 9:25 pm

      The genesis of this blog has been many years of being in my head, thinking about saying certain things and usually censoring myself, “talking myself away from the edge” so to speak… or at least, inconsistently expressing myself. But in this blog I’m just out here. The risk has been taken, I’ve established the authenticity bar, and have so far have stuck to it with every post. I’m glad you are liking it.

Comments are closed.

Property of:

Recent Posts

  • Saturday’s Alright For… Quality Questions
  • The Blog Shines On
  • When Today’s “High” Prices Become Screaming Good Deals
  • “Dark Emotions” (Original Rhyme)
  • The Timeless Timeliness of Past Posts

Read Posts by Category

Blogging (150) Books (93) Creative Writing (76) Creativity Topics (90) Higher Self (88) Home Life (22) Law of Attraction (153) Miscellaneous (135) Money & Investing (149) Movies (15) Music Career (61) Original Music (57) Personal Growth (378) Running & Health (134) Shenanigans & Ruminations (89)

Archives

Share this page

Share

More Recent Posts

  • Saturday’s Alright For… Quality Questions
  • The Blog Shines On
  • When Today’s “High” Prices Become Screaming Good Deals
  • “Dark Emotions” (Original Rhyme)
  • The Timeless Timeliness of Past Posts
  • Focus Relentlessly On What Already Feels Good
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • Swimming with Faster Swimmers
  • I Believe in the Power of Quality Questions
  • You Do Not Need an Intermediary
  • I Did It My Way
  • “Dead Dragon” (Original Rhyme)
  • Highly-Sensitive Chronicles (Update)
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • Deliberately Taking It Slow
  • “Living for the Softer Hum” (A Rhyme-y Poem)
  • A Dandy Time Blogging
  • The Book (Update #9)
  • “Rhyming Drivel” (Original Rhyme)
  • Fishing in the Milky Lagoon
  • “The Silkworm” (Verse in Iambic Pentameter)
  • Most Versatile Blog Award?
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • “Paradise of Mirth” (Original Rhyme)
  • Building My Cathedral
  • The Thing About Groups
  • “Into Creative Waters” (Original Rhyme)
  • Friendly Financial Reminders from Me to Myself
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • From the Vault: The North Star of Happiness Beckons (11/28/20)
  • The Book (Update #8)
  • Still Playing “Toy Blast”!
  • And Now October…
  • No Exceptions
  • Highly-Sensitive Chronicles
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • What’s in Your Vibrational Meal? (Part 4)
  • Clarity is Sweet (Part 2)
  • What’s in Your Vibrational Meal? (Part 3)
  • What’s In Your Vibrational Meal? (Part 2)
  • Using the Emotional Guidance Scale
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • Despite the Drama…
  • A Week of Satisfying Blog Posts
  • What’s in Your Vibrational Meal?
  • Clarity is Sweet
  • The Slow-and-Steady Way to Become Unstoppable
  • A Highly-Sensitive Man’s Trip to the Department Store
  • Mental Muscles of Focus
  • “What’s in it for Me?”
  • Coming From a Creative Space
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • Still Calm, Cool, and Collected about Mr. Market
  • Appreciating Regular Exercise (vs. Intense Training)
  • The Book (Update #7)
  • Friendly Financial Lessons
  • Bogus Ideas Like Judgment and Unworthiness
  • Your Mood is Like a Radio Signal
  • Don’t Expect to Make Lemonade Out of Vinegar
  • Tonight’s Musical Appreciations
  • When It Comes to Piano Compositions and 1000-Piece Puzzles
  • Already a Great Year for Introspection
  • A Verbal Sculpture Garden I Just Keep Adding To
  • Hello, Old Friend
  • Thoughts on the Vibrational Universe
  • Give Them a Break
  • The Ideal Weekend for Highly-Sensitive Me?
  • The Book (Update #6)
  • Beethoven’s Third Symphony with my “Digital Orchestra”
  • Tonight’s Answers to Quality Questions
  • When Someone Else Isn’t Being Nice
  • From the Vault: Generating a Positive Attitude No Matter What (11/23/18)
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • Vanguard’s Courage to be Disliked
  • Reaching for Satisfaction (2024 Running Edition)
  • Thoughts on Blogging, Digital Footprints, and Personal Agendas
  • The Game of Achievement
  • Musing on “Separating Tasks”
  • No One Said It Wasn’t an Effort
  • Thoughts on Blogging and Book-Writing
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • More Gems from “The Courage to Be Disliked”
  • Three Years of Steady Share Prices
  • Focused on the Long-Term
  • “The Courage to Be Disliked”
  • Glutton for Punishment
  • Winning the Game
  • Exploring Traits of Being Highly Sensitive
  • Tonight’s Appreciations
  • Enjoying the Prosperity Game
  • Breaking Down Chronic Habits of Thought
  • With All We’ve Been Through!
  • Nothing Has Changed, and Other Financial Commentary
  • Lessons Learned in 2023
  • Day 365: Don’t Overthink It!
  • Day 364: Missing It Already
  • Day 363: “Of Futile Efforts” (Original Music)
  • Day 362: Things Are Looking Up in Highly-Sensitive Land
  • Day 361: Today’s Appreciations
  • Day 360: Focus Where It Feels Best
    ©2025 My Happiness Obsession | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme