Yesterday’s post was quite satisfying. Let’s continue that discussion.
First of all, yesterday, when I had my wife read the post, she asked me if I had gone through the thing about the person who gets upset at love songs. “No,” I said, “but it’s an area that I feel really good about, and so it’s easy for me to write about it.” I’m bringing this up because some of the examples here I use might be hypothetical, or they may have applied to me a long time ago and no longer. I’m doing that on purpose because to be honest, it is more comfortable for me to write about this topic if I either keep it general, hypothetical, or talk about an area that I personally feel good about.
So let’s continue. As I was saying yesterday, I am learning to ask myself always if my thoughts are satisfying. If they are, then I know they are on the right track. If they are not satisfying, then I can be grateful to have become aware of an area that I can work on and know that I can, eventually, phase those thoughts out in favor of better-feeling ones.
So one of the examples I used yesterday was getting jealous at seeing celebrities on TV. I used to go through this myself, so I know of which I speak. Let’s do a little role play and see how I could use my recent learnings to navigate through that situation:
Man, I get so bent out of shape when I see celebrities on TV sometimes. I see them enjoying themselves, singing, and basking in the glow of their success, and I get so frustrated! I think to myself, “They suck! I could be like that, why do they get to do that and I don’t? Man, life’s not fair. This sucks.”
These thoughts feel really bad. I don’t want to feel this way. I get so distracted, so jealous and envious, I just don’t feel good. It takes me out of my zone, and instead of focusing on my own power and what I can do, I’m sitting there seething over someone else. As if they have stopped me from getting what I want in life! How can I stop thinking this way?
First of all, I realize that I have a lot going for me too. I am reminding myself of all the wonderful things I have in this life. I have much to be grateful for. I have lots of talents and creative gifts too. I use them every day. People around me benefit from them, and I benefit from sharing them. I have a lot going for me, and it is really fun most of the time.
Also, these people on TV, I’m sure they have worked hard and done some amazing things to get where they are. When I think about them, I start to realize how much I admire them. They persevered, they went for their dreams, and they help the rest of us see that it is possible. In fact, they are an inspiration to me: if they can do it, I can do it!
Finally, I know that everyone has their own path. There is nothing wrong with the path I am taking. I can gain inspiration from others, and I can keep growing myself, yet I know that I am already really awesome the way I am. I don’t need to fix myself, or become like someone else in order to be enough. I already know that I am enough. I’m happy to get inspiration from others, while appreciating what I already am and what I have, so I can make the most of this life!
Ok, so in this example, I moved from a place of resentment to one of admiration and appreciation. It started when I became aware that the thoughts I was having were not doing anything good for me. They were taking me away from focusing on the positive, and I knew I could do better. So I refocused, starting with reminding myself of what I like about my life. Then I started to appreciate the people on TV for their own hard work and perseverance going for there dreams. Finally, I worked on accepting myself and appreciating that I already am enough. Therefore, I can appreciate others and keep growing from a foundation of feeling good, rather than thinking I need to fix or change myself.
What I am demonstrating here is the process of soothing oneself out of an automatic negative mind state and into a positive one. It really is possible to shift one’s point of view! Sometimes it is one thought at time, and usually you won’t jump immediately from unhappiness to ecstasy. But through conscious choice and awareness, you can help your own thinking towards a direction that uplifts you rather than undermines your happiness.