Day 2: That Time I Got Jealous of Idris and Dwayne

Today my wife and I went to see “Jurassic World: Dominion.”* I enjoyed watching familiar faces from the legacy “Jurassic Park” movies–Laura Dern, Sam Neil, and Jeff Goldblum–on screen with the newer “Jurassic World” actors, Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard. All in all, I came home a happy moviegoer (I wish I could say the same for my wife. She found the movie excessively stressful, and I see why–the characters spend the entire movie trying to escape being eaten by dinosaurs).

What I want to write about is not the movie itself, but something I noticed about myself while watching the trailers and commercials before the movie started. There we were, watching an advertisement for a movie with Dwayne Johnson, aka “The Rock.” We were learning about his new superhero movie and here’s what went on in my mind:

(I see Dwayne Johnson appear on screen as yet another movie bad ass, this time as an all-powerful quasi-God, ie Superhero)

“He looks powerful and awesome…as usual.”

(My mind thinks) “Dammit. Why’s he in all the movies? What about me? Where’s all my success?” (Translation: judging myself, with a heaping of jealousy and overall victimhood).

Then this: “Well, he just sold out to be in a big movie.”

(Ouch! The hollow sting of judging someone else to make myself feel better!)

BUT WAIT… THERE’S MORE!

Idris Elba appears on a commercial promoting an Internet booking company. Yes, THE Idris Elba. Again, another total bad ass whom I always enjoy watching. Yet I caught myself thinking,

“Look at him… one of the most brilliant actors in the world. Doing a commercial. That dude sold out for money!”

(And there it is again… the green-eyed monster, jealousy wrapped in judgment)

I’m calling myself out now. You see, I know better. I know this type of thinking is not good for me. Not only does it feel bad, I believe it actually blocks away good things I want: in this case, success, prosperity, recognition, and abundance. Not to mention having fun doing things I love.

There’s no doubt Idris Elba was handsomely rewarded for being in that commercial. Same with Dwayne Johnson in the movie. And why not? Why shouldn’t they be?

So I say to my subconscious, what’s wrong with getting well paid and being in-demand? What’s wrong with accomplishing your hard-won goals and having career success? Am I saying I don’t want those things? What does it say about my own preferences or beliefs if I’m bagging on someone else’s accomplishments?

No more, Chris! No more judgment of Idris or Dwayne or anyone living their dreams!** More power to other artists leading brilliant and happy lives. May they ever be prosperous and abundant!

And now I would like to pass the mic over to my good friend and constant companion, my “Higher Self,” for a bit of helpful commentary:

Chris, thank you! It is so nice that you have started this blog up again. We know you feel “trepidation,” as you said yesterday (see here), about it. We feel no trepidation. We feel excitement! We feel joy! We are happy that you are moving forward and allowing your expressive journey to continue onto this next chapter!

As for your reaction to the rich successful actors you admire, we see that you admire and want to be like these powerful creators who are having so much fun on the big screen! We think you want to allow yourself to participate more fully in the world of creativity with others yourself, and in movies in particular. And we think you want to allow it to make you rich, too! We think your reactions to these others is an indication of the resistance inside you still about being successful as a creator, and of making a lot of money!

Yet, have no fear! We know you are on the right track, and we agree that it is excellent that you are “sniffing” out the scent of the bogus beliefs that have caused you to deprive yourself of the Joy and Happiness and, yes, Success you desire! Good on you!

Well thank you! As usual, you are insightful, with just a dose of truth telling that makes me feel slightly embarrassed, with my flaws laid out for others to see. But I guess that’s the point of this blog 🙂

Even more importantly, I appreciate what you are saying and agree it is time to let go of negative crud from the past. I am very glad I am paying attention to this experience and learning from it.

I hereby let go of old nasty thoughts and embrace new happy thoughts of Appreciation, Satisfaction, and Joy! This post goes out to Dwayne Johnson and Idris Elba. Thank you for helping me grow in my awareness and empower myself to continue allowing good things in my life!

*I decided not to add any images of “Jurassic World: Dominion” for this post because the issue of copyright law, even as it might relate to my humble personal blog, completely befuddles and freaks me out 🙁

**To Dwayne Johnson or Idris Elba: if you are reading this, my sincerest apologies.

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