So just a few minutes ago I was sitting here at my computer, aiming to clear my mind and get some things done. Admittedly, my mind was a blur. I was feeling overwhelmed and scattered, frustrated.
All of a sudden, I saw an alert on my phone. A unexplained charge went through from one of the services we use. It was not a huge charge, but definitely enough to notice. Also, it was not the first time this has happened with this service. Unfortunately, I had the same knee-jerk reaction this time I did the other times: indignant anger!
“This shouldn’t happen! What the <bleep> happened? This totally <bleep>ing sucks!”
Yeah, real pretty stuff.
My wife was blessed to witness some of my outburst. I told her she didn’t do anything, it was my own head stuff, and she went about her day. I apologized a few minutes later when my head was a bit clearer.
Yet I was still seething. Feelings of powerlessness. Even, dare I say it, rage. The unfairness of it all! They shouldn’t have charged us! And without explaining it! For a few moments, I wallowed in a negative state.
Then I realized something.
I realized this is a chance to make peace with what is and to decide to feel good anyway. This is a chance to be master of my own mind, instead of at the mercy of outside forces.
It’s a chance to be unconditional.
I started pulling myself out of the muddle I had fallen into. Reluctantly at first, I decided to detach from the situation and instead focus on alignment. I even used some logic to soothe myself:
“Yes, it’s a weird, unexplained charge. But it’s not a big deal. We’ll call the company on Monday and get it sorted out. Also, keep it in perspective: today alone our portfolio probably grew several times more than amount charged. Certainly it’s not worth getting this upset about, is it?”
Happily, my new focus and self-coaxing worked. Now that I am calmer, it sort of amazes me that I got so triggered. But at least I caught myself. I chose to feel differently. Instead of letting an unwanted circumstance dictate how I felt, I decided how I wanted to feel.
And how I I want to feel is happy, alive, free, and peaceful. I want to feel assured, knowing that everything is always working out for me. Do I like having this situation occur? Well, no. But I might as well make the best of things.
Rather than staying upset, it serves me to get back into my happy place. Maybe this was life’s way of saying, “Chris, you say you are all about being unconditionally aligned. Prove it!”
I may have taken the bait, at least initially, but then I spit it back out and started over.
That counts for something.
