My exploration into happiness is showing me again and again how important it is that we look after our own happiness. In other words, if we want to be happy, we need to be selfish enough to make decisions are deeply satisfying to us, regardless of others’ opinions.
That feels a bit like a weird thing to say, like an anti-social thing. But bear with me as I make my case.
On this blog, I write a lot about things I enjoy, things like running and writing and investing and reading books and learning about personal happiness. While I certainly hope that my words will benefit and inspire others :), at most, that’s a happy by-product of the self-serving nature of this blog. Because really I am doing it for myself!
In fact, every single major accomplishment in my life resulted from a very personal decision to take action: a resolve, a crystal-clear clarity that had nothing to do with anyone else. Even the choices that involved other people were things I decided by myself, on my own, for my own reasons.
For instance, asking my wife to marry me was a personal choice. Sure, it greatly impacted her, and indeed it thrilled her when I asked her. But really, the clarity to take that step was my own. I chose it. I asked for it.
Another example: I teach piano, often to people for whom their lessons are a primary musical outlet in their lives. If they weren’t taking lessons (with me or with someone else), would they be playing music at all? In many cases, they would not be.
So my teaching certainly benefits them. However, my true reasons for teaching are about me: I teach because I get joy and fulfillment from it, because it serves me in many ways, including helping bring financial stability to my life. In other words, teaching personally gives me many benefits, regardless of how it helps others. And to me, this comes first.
Whether it’s blogging or being married or teaching or really anything, I do what I do for selfish reasons. Regardless of how it may look on the outside, no one else presided over my decisions, and there was no one else whose approval was more important than my own when I made them.
Again, I can understand that this might seem unkind or insensitive. But consider the alternative. When people attempt to do things that don’t truly please and align with them, when they are motivated to please others even if it betrays themselves, their efforts are probably doomed to end in disappointment
At least, that is what I personally experienced again and again. Eventually, it taught me that I need to care enough to look after my own happiness.
Before closing, here are some words from Abraham Hicks:
You Must Be Selfish Enough to Align with Well-Being
Now, occasionally someone will accuse us of teaching selfishness. And we agree. Indeed, we do teach selfishness, for if you are not selfish enough to deliberately align with the Energy of your Source, you have nothing to give anyway.
…There are some who fear that a selfish person may deliberately intend harm to another, but it is not possible for someone who is connected to Source Energy to wish harm upon another–for those vibrations are not compatible.
…If everyone on your planet were connected to their own Source Energy, there would be no assaults, for there would be no jealousy, insecurity, or uncomfortable feelings of competition. If everyone understood the power of their own Being, they would not seek to control others. Any feelings of insecurity and hatred are born from your disconnection with who you are. Your (selfish) connection with Well-Being would bring only Well-Being.”“Ask and It is Given,” 104-5
Lastly, here’s a post I did quite awhile ago that addresses the same subject brought up in the quote above: