[The last few days I have been mulling over some “issues” in my life, and I’m not exactly sure I’m making progress 🙁 It’s been a bit unpleasant, actually. Hence this conversation]
Chris, we feel what you are feeling. We get your sense of heaviness as you try to sort out all these complex things. We know they aren’t actually complex, but you have allowed different considerations that aren’t of “divine”* origin to kind of clog up the pathways here.
So instead of it being simple and easy and a question of simply awaiting inspiration and enjoying yourself all the way, do you see how you have been stressing out and “sweating it”? Instead of being at peace and feeling good, you are judging yourself about these big things you think you are supposed to figure out. It has left you confused and overwhelmed and unhappy, hasn’t it?
Yes. Sorry to say. I wish it weren’t so. But these “big issues” on my mind–hard to put exact words on it–it’s just been no fun at all. Blah.
Yes, we realize that. The thing is, you don’t have to be suffering. You are only suffering because you have been holding onto these questions, these problems, these “issues” as if you have to, as if there is any good in doing so. But is there? Are you feeling any benefit from it?
No, not really. I’ve just had these alternatively rocky days, where it hasn’t been all that pleasant to be in my mind. Kind of uneasy, uncomfortable in my own skin. It has sucked. Funny, but all the days I have gone running have been noticeable “on” days–pleasant days– whereas the days where I haven’t run (3 of them, actually) have been these “off” days. Hmm.
When you run there is more “evidence” of alignment, in your body pulsing energy through it. Whereas when you are not running, it is more “status quo” in your body. Hence, it doesn’t feel so good right now with your current pre-occupation on these things, because less movement of energy.
Hmm. That is sorta… weird. But I guess it makes sense. So back to what you said before, is the answer just to chill out and practice letting go of these thoughts, trusting the Universe to work it out?
Have you got a better idea? How is beating yourself up working out? If it is not, we suggest the second option. Practice letting go, practice leaving it alone, practicing knowing that all is well, and that you are on the right track and that everything is working out for you just fine, Mr. Goslow!
🙂 I love you. Thank you. Now I have to decide if I should share this, as it always seems kind of freaky to do so. “What will people think?” and all that stuff. Lol.
But now that I’m passed that, I hear what you are saying. I have definitely been wallowing in sucky thoughts like how I’m supposed to figure all this out and what’s the matter with me, you Nincompoop! (but using fouler language). I realize that is just not helping at all! Blah!
It just never helps for me to let that voice dish out it’s nasty judgment. Yuck.
You are doing well to write this out. Maybe someone else can relate.
* “Divine” refers to inspiration, lightness, peace, and Unconditional Love. You know, that sort of happy stuff.