Yeah, I know how the expression is supposed to go. “All’s well that ends WELL.” Yet for me personally, sometimes the fact of something ending, in and of itself has been a huge blessing. Numerous times in my life, I have found myself in situations that were such challenging ordeals that I just wanted it to be over. Once it finally was… blessed relief! And so, the ending, in and of itself, was the resolution!
Another expression I like is, “If you realize you are going down the wrong road, no matter how far you’ve gone… STOP and turn around!” What this means in practical terms is, no matter how much you have invested in a direction that turned out to be wrong for you, it’s the right thing for you to stop going in that wrong direction as soon as humanly possible. Because, as long as you keep going in that direction, you’re just hurting yourself and probably delaying the inevitable: the moment when you finally can’t stand it any longer and stop the charade, doing what you needed to do in the first place
It is amazing how much we can fool ourselves into going down roads that are completely unsatisfying to us. Perhaps we believe some other person’s testimony, either about how great this road is for them, or how, if we just keep doing it long enough, it will be great for us too. It’s like the perennial vegetables being stuffed down our mouths as kids, our parents scolding us, “If you just keep eating it, you will learn to like it!” Which really translates to, “You DON’T like it now, I know that, you have no joy from this thing at all, but I don’t really care what you think, what you think doesn’t matter!” Not that I’m against having kids eat vegetables. Yet what I’m against, if anything, is teaching people not to trust their own guidance.
I know what it means to ignore my own guidance. I have done it many times. That is how I found myself in the aforementioned situations, which became ordeals that I couldn’t wait to get out of. Because I ignored my own thoughts and feelings in the name of integrity or because I had given my word, I found myself inside of a prison of my own devising, awaiting the end of a commitment to something that I did not want to be in. Yes, this royally sucked.
Hence, for me, the very fact that these ordeals came to an end was the great prize! In fact, I wrote a song called “When Everyone Has Gone” about the incredible relief that one can feel when the noise of the throng has receded and one can actually think for oneself. I guess part of what caused me to experience these ordeals was how I reacted in some group situations: maybe not acting with enough conviction or self-awareness to make choices that were truly wise for me. And hence suffering for it.
At any rate, I still think that sometimes, all’s well that ends 🙂