It’s interesting to be with this mind of mine. Up and down my mood can go, like a roller coaster, a consequence of the monkey-mind head chatter that acts up sometimes. One moment, all is well, soaring and shining! But then the little weasel takes over, and to the sewers we descend.
Recently, when I’ve noticed the head trash acting up I have begun conversing directly with it. It will say something like:
<You are stupid and everything sucks and this is awful and you are bad and everything is bad and everything is bad> (Note: Usually not said with PG-rated language)
Why are you freaking out? I say to it. What’s the matter?
<It’s all so awful! everything sucks! I’m scared!>
What’s the matter?
<I don’t know. I’m just.. I’m really scared. I’m just really upset. It all seems so confusing.>
Okay, but why are you yelling at me? Why are you insulting me and making me feel bad?
<I don’t know what else to do. I just, I feel so uncomfortable.>
Okay, I get that, but please stop taking it out on me. It sucks.
<Ok… I didn’t realize I was doing that.>
I get that. But please remember, we are in this together. But when you beat up on me or scream at me, it just confuses and upsets me. We’re in this together, let’s work together!
<I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware. I will try not to do that.>
And so I try to soothe the mental patient.
Amazingly, it seems to work!
At least, until the next go around.