I have a confession to make. Every time I hear about another successful artist (music artist, actor, composer, or sometimes even writer)… I usually get jealous. But beyond that, if I’m in a decent state of mind (as is happening today, when I have been watching a great documentary about Tom Petty on Netflix), my thoughts tend to go something like this:
“Why am I not yet well-known and successful like them? Don’t I want it too? Maybe I’m too late to become one. Am I too late? What is wrong with me? Maybe I don’t really want it after all. I mean, always being on the road, all the pressure, etc etc… But of course I want it, what is wrong with me? Why don’t I have it? Maybe I don’t really want it? I wonder if they are really happy? They probably aren’t happy. Would I be happy if my life was like that? Maybe, maybe not. I wonder…”
…And thoughts like that, which mean I’m either really confused about what I want, or really lame about not getting it. Or maybe I’m blessed with my current state of being and just don’t know it (cross your fingers). Either way, I figure that at this point I’ll just slap these thoughts up here on this blog, because at least I got this as an outlet, and maybe it will shed some light on the subject.
I’ve always had a push-pull relationship with the idea of being famous. On the one hand, it seems really rad: having your music be well-known, being on the radio, calling your own shots in life, making lots of money… having lots of women and basically everyone think you’re awesome (Yes, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that has its appeal). On the downside, there’s: the pressure, the temptation to do something stupid, all eyes being on you all the time, the apparent unhappiness quotient that seems to follow many rock stars around like a bad dream. Outside of these things, there’s the unspoken risk that probably scares off more people than would admit it: that being famous will cause your entire life to change dramatically. That can be one of the scariest risks of all, even if your life is a bit dull through your own damn fault from keeping yourself cooped inside your house with only a blog as a means of communicating with the world (shit, I think I just gave myself away with that one!)
Okay, so I admit it. I like the idea of being a rock star because it sounds FUN. I like the idea of being a part of the pulse of life, what is going on. I like the idea of doing great shows. I like the idea of being able to do cool projects like movies or what-have-you. And I also like the idea of being a role model, or at least trying to be one as best I can. I like the idea of people looking up to me. And most of all, I think I like the idea of accomplishing this and then being satisfied that I did it. So that when I die I can say that I did what I set out to do, what I knew instinctively as a three year old playing air guitar and running around the house shouting, “Rock and roll! Rock and roll!”
Let me define “rock star” as I see it:
- I set my own rules in life.
- I’m here to enliven others, teach them, entertain them, help them see new possibilities.
- I live life with flair, with commitment and passion, doing what I set out to do.
- I face challenges and fears and overcome them.
- I am good to those around me, and help teach others that THE WORLD IS A GREAT PLACE.
- I am an example of freedom, self-expression, joy, and courage.
Yeah. That’s what being a rock star is to me. In a way, it’s what I already feel I have when I write this blog. It’s how I feel writing songs, and recording in the studio working with good people. It’s how I felt with the last band I played with (even though I left it). And even though I bitch about it somewhat here, it’s generally how I feel a lot of the time about my life. Yet obviously, the Universe has sent me this outstanding blogging platform to help me root out my foibles and transform the rest of my life.
I guess this is my way of giving a nod to my inspirations: the Rockstars. And admitting that I intend to take a page from their book. In fact, admitting that I have been planning it all a long…. while defining rockstar in my own way.
My life is an awesome adventure… !
ALL HAIL THE ROCKSTARS!