How to Benefit from Everything that Happens to You

In the past few months, I have experienced a lot of what Abraham-Hicks calls “contrast;” that is, unwanted things. Before my continuous (and obsessive?) study of Abraham-Hicks/Law of Attraction principle, I did not understand the valuable part contrast plays in my life. I know I’m still working on it, but I’m clearer than ever that unwanted experiences ultimately help me get more of what I want.

If that seems like a stretch… believe me, I get it.

Let’s dive into this to see how it works. First of all, a little more about contrast. Basically, it’s anything that occurs in your life that makes you say, “This sucks!” or “Dammit, why’d that have to happen?” Anything we don’t want to happen… that’s contrast. Anything that is not pleasing, that is not satisfying, that challenges us, that causes friction in our experience.

Last time I checked, everyone experiences contrast in some form or another on a regular basis. 2020 has been a big year for global contrast, that’s for sure.

Like pretty much everyone, I grew up thinking that these unwanted things were just bad. Inconvenient, stressful, fearful, and to be avoided at all cost. Yet–surprise surprise–trying to avoid unwanted things doesn’t work. Somehow, contrasting experiences just keep occurring!

The Abraham-Hicks philosophy helps me see contrast as the opportunity it is. “When you know what you don’t want, you know more clearly what you do want,” Abraham says.

Here’s an example. Let’s say an unexpected expense occurs in your life which requires you to dip into savings (hint hint: I’m speaking from recent experience). You think to yourself, “Well, I’m so glad I have some savings… at least I can pay for this unexpected expense… but it is still uncomfortable, and I wish I had a whole lot more money set aside! Dammit!”

Voila! In that moment, you have expressed a wish for more. In fact, it’s possible that without this contrasting experience, you might not have expanded your wish for more. So, in a way, while the situation is uncomfortable, and unwanted, it actually helps you expand your own desires!

That is, it helps you if you use it to focus on what you want instead of on the unwanted thing. If you can use the unwanted experience to get clearer on what you do want instead, you can more easily and quickly attract those wanted things.

When “bad” things occur, people mostly focus on those bad things, talk about those bad things, keep those things on their mind, thus contaminating their mood with a continual reminder of the pain and frustration of those unwanted experiences.

What could be a great learning experience instead becomes an excuse to feel bad 🙁

Yikes. That’s so unnecessary. Why not pivot to what is wanted instead?

I know it’s not always easy. Those unwanted experiences are so easy to look at, especially since we have seen people modeling this unhappy focus all of our lives. It is far more common to see people who are depressed, defeated, discouraged, disgusted, and disgruntled than appreciative and grateful.

It is far more common to see people say, “Man, this sucks. I had to pay this big amount for this, and it just sucks so badly, because look at how little money I have!”And then they blame somebody else for their problems (like their parents, the government, or their boss), instead of moving their own mindset towards what they want instead… which is the abundance to not worry about unexpected expenses.


It takes awareness, and clarity about the importance of feeling good, to start to shift your old mental habits. If you care about feeling good, you can make the shift.

This year I have worked on this more than ever. Never before has it been so clear the importance of taking responsibility for my thoughts, of choosing my focus, and on focusing on what I want!

I have decided that feeling good is what matters most. When you also commit to this way of thinking, you too can benefit from everything that ever happens to you… yes, even that icky contrast!

Related posts

Leave a Comment