Every day I am writing a new blog post. Everyday, I get satisfaction from it. Sometimes the topic is especially cool, or sometimes it’s not so much, but at least I’m glad that I got it done. Overall, I feel a strengthening of my expressive powers, both in articulating my thoughts to an audience of sorts and in being confident to continue sharing my thoughts each day do no matter what.
That being said, sometimes, especially when I go on my WordPress Dashboard and see that no one has commented, the following thought occurs for me, “Who is reading this? Who am I writing for?” I wrote about this all the way back on Day 24. When I think this, there might be the slightest bit of annoyance, as I am reminded that I have not gotten very much feedback from the world about this blog, even though I share it each day on Facebook. However, I’m just not sure I mind… that much. Yes, I do mind when I go to my Comments section and see no new comments for weeks. However, I then remind myself why I am doing this. I feel like I need to just “keep the blinders on” and just keep going what I’m doing, not worrying about the result.
I have spent years “trying to get somewhere” in my business and career. In some respects, it didn’t do for me what this project has done. This project has been freeing me from the constraints of over-thinking, of making up excuses to not express myself. This project has liberated me. I am totally grateful for that. In fact, it is the privilege of not having to worry about what people are thinking that has allowed me the freedom to just get something done everyday!
Sure, I’m a human, sure I want the attention, the props and appreciation and all that. Perhaps what I am doing on this blog is too “me focused,” and maybe it isn’t all that engaging to others…? Or maybe it’s just fine, and yet it just doesn’t make enough of a ripple for people to react that much. I don’t know, and I guess I don’t care that much. Because I’m enjoying the process.
You know, it kind of reminds me of going to the open mic. All these musicians who want to play their tunes. They all get something from the process, some of them are really good, some of them maybe not so much. Yet there’s an outlet there, they have the freedom to express themselves. And that is a good thing.
I have to remind myself that this is a personal blog, and I am not hurting anybody else by writing in it. Whether or not people like it, are paying attention, or whatever, there seems to be an awesome process unfolding for me here.
And so I shall continue!