For many years now, I have had a routine of going to a cafe down the street multiple times per week for several hours of writing. During these cafe sessions, I typically wrote in my journal while listening to inspirational Youtube videos, usually Abraham-Hicks. My writing was straight prose, pen on paper. Last year I started using my wife’s colored markers to highlight ideas and color images when I was especially inspired. All in all, I found these sessions head-clearing and nourishing, like conducting my own personal empowerment workshop for one. It was as close to a sure thing as it could be, a reliable sanctuary affording joy and clarity. After each “bliss out” session, I usually came home high-flying and revived, eager to share my latest personal insights with my wife, who referred to the cafe as my “Mecca.”
This process went on for roughly eight years. About six months ago or so, I started noticing a change. Suddenly I wasn’t always satisfied during my outings at the cafe. Little things bothered me, such as when the baristas hadn’t turned the music on or when people were laughing loudly in the morning. I found myself more distracted by external conditions than focused on my inner process. I felt like a stick-in-the-mud. The cafe thing started feeling problematic. It was hard to admit the routine may have run its course.
I started experimenting. At first, I changed where I was sitting. I had spent perhaps three years sitting in the same place, which was possible because I was typically first to arrive in the morning. This didn’t solve the problem. A couple of months ago I finally took a break from “my” cafe entirely, staying home in the morning and writing on the couch. I tried out three other cafes. Hoping that varying my routine solved the problem, I went back to “my” cafe several times. Yet as recently as last week I had another challenging experience there, which reminded me of why I needed to shake things to begin with. I am considering taking a substantial cafe break.
This process has resulted in a not-insignificant amount of stress. It is weird to think, but going to the cafe seems to have become a part of my identity. Breaking the routine has felt like un-building myself. Fortunately, my experience stopping running gives me a model for how to handle this. I am proactively experimenting rather than doing the same thing long after it has gotten old.
Because it’s not just a cafe trip we are talking about. It’s about me choosing what feels good over doing what is habitual. It is about taking the vibrational journey, focusing on my alignment and then acting from inspiration.
And it is working, though not without the stubborn, attached part of me kicking and screaming along the way.
Change is hard.