It is undeniable that I am kinder to myself these days. Abraham-Hicks has been a big help. Another useful tool has been embracing being “highly-sensitive.” Embracing this concept is making such a difference. Honestly, it is such a relief!
Tonight I’m sharing a few more excerpts from the book “Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World,” by Ilse Sand, followed by comments:
Highly sensitive people try very hard not to cause other people pain or discomfort. We therefore put a lot of effort into how we relate with others. Other people, who may be more robust, seem to think less about what they are going to say or do. This may come as quite a surprise to a highly sensitive person.
p.24
Comment: This has always been true for me. Both parts. First, being conscientious, going to great lengths, sometimes (often?) at my own expense, to try to avoid disappointing or hurting other people. I also do all that I can all the time to remain positive and uplifting with others. This is because, being highly-sensitive, I know what it’s like to feel bad, and the last thing I ever want to do is make other people feel that way.
The other part, being surprised at how careless people can be. I now agree that they just may be less sensitive, and more of what the book calls “resilient.” Resilience has many benefits. Believe me, there have been many times I wish I didn’t feel a need to think through everything and just be more spontaneous!
You have probably been encouraged to try to worry less and take things as they come. But to take time to reflect before you speak or act is wise when you are highly sensitive person. Often you do not have energy to spare for conflicts or mistakes, because your energy levels may be limited. Unnecessary arguments are well worth avoiding because they can destabilise your nervous system for a long time afterwards.
p.29
Comment: While it is sobering stuff, I so appreciate this paragraph. It helps me go easier on myself. It reminds me to embrace myself as I am. Thinking through things deeply and taking my time are ways I deal with life. Minimizing conflicts is another. It is ok that I am the way I am.
When you let go of trying to be as robust and perky as the majority of people are, you can start to allow yourself to be delicate and arrange your life to suit your needs. You will begin to realise that you can be happy without having to cope continuously with constant pressure, fast-paced lifestyles and inhospitable surroundings. When highly sensitive people find themselves in nourishing contexts, they flourish.
p.53
Comment: I love this paragraph. It echoes the freedom-seeking nature of this blog. My life is much happier now that I arrange it to suit my needs, rather than trying to be like the “majority.” Though I have done what suits me instinctively for many years, it is only relatively recently that I am letting go of judgment about it.
I know I am more accepting of myself these days. This is my life, so I live it the way that works for me.