So my wife took me clothes shopping today.
Macy’s.
Frankly, I do not like stores all that much. The only true exception is the bookstore. There I can sink my mind into books. Other people are there doing the same. There is an unspoken Covenant of Fellow Readers. All join in in support of it, including those who work there.
Anyway, I knew it was time to do a clothes shopping trip. I’m gigging again and it had been a long while since I got new performing clothes. I’m happy to say I have a good fashion consultant in my wife. We’ve even had some not-so-bad experiences at Macy’s before. She makes the process easier, helping me find clothes that work and giving me her savvy female opinion while deferring to me for the final decision.
Nonetheless, I typically don’t start out too keen on the idea of clothes-shopping. It could have something to do with thoughts from childhood when I think of being in department stores: feeling broke, feeling lame, we don’t have money, everything’s expensive, I don’t understand fashion, the kids at school think you need to have cool clothes, I have no f**king idea what they mean, this sucks, why can’t they leave me the f*ck alone?! Did I mention this is boring?
Again, I’m not singling out department stores. Last week I bought a new keyboard amp for gigs… online.* I was incredibly relieved not to have to go to a music store, imagining I’d feel awkward looking around in the presence of gear-oriented musicians working there who I do not feel much in common with and would feel pressured to buy something, already. I’d rather just save myself the discomfort.
Back to today’s clothes shopping. I steeled myself beforehand for the experience. This helped me tolerate the loud music. The sales team seemed to think the ideal thing to do was create a dance-party vibe by blasting loud bass-thumping dance tunes in the middle of the Lower Level. This happened to be where the Men’s clothing and shoes were. Therefore, this is where we were. If I wanted to be that uncomfortable I could just go to a club, and since you know I don’t do that, why would I want that here?**
Despite this inconvenience, I managed to hold my own, patiently waiting while the busy sales rep found my size of multiple dress shoes until I found the ones I wanted. Then I patiently stuck by my wife as she adeptly sorted through dress shirts for my size. I unabashedly used my greatest tool in this process – the veto. As in, if she picked something out I didn’t like it, I quickly said “No!” She was nice about it.
We were at Macy’s for at least an hour and a half. Happily, we checked out on the quieter side of the floor. To the cashier, I expressed how relieved I was to be away from the loud music. This was my way of allowing myself to complain, something I am getting better at doing. She seemed to sympathize, and she did not seem thrilled as she told us they even had a DJ there sometimes.
Yikes. Apparently we got lucky.
Anyway, we returned home mostly unscathed, with new clothes for me to wear out. I am glad I basically kept my head on, besides a mild bit of self-judgment: “How could all these people stand working in such a noisy place where they never have a minute to stop and think and just be by themselves? Is there something wrong with me for thinking this sucks?”
As we left the store, my wife asked me if I was happy. I hesitated. “Better question,” she said, knowingly. “Are you satisfied?”
“Yes,” I replied.
Satisfied to have gotten some clothes I wanted, and satisfied to be getting the heck out of the there.
*Thank you, wifey’s Amazon prime subscription 🙂
**I was relieved when my wife said she didn’t like the loud music, either. Thank God, it’s not just me being highly-sensitive.