One thing I am getting good at is just withdrawing my attention from situations I don’t want to focus on. I was taught the opposite: be nice, be good, if someone is talking to you, you need to focus on them, blah blah. That sort of stuff. But there’s more to the equation. Now I ask myself, “How does this feel to me? Am I enjoying myself?” No, I am not. Okay, NEXT!
It can even work with people you actually want to talk to. Sometimes it’s just not the right time yet. By withdrawing your attention, you give it time to percolate. The right moment will come.
Our attention is precious. Our focus is sacred. Let’s not abuse it. If the situation you are in, or even the person you are thinking of, does not feel good in this moment, what good is there in focusing there? You are likely not to be your best if you are distracted or unsure. Maybe later you will be clear, and it will work out just fine.
What I am learning is that there really is no need to do something just because you think you “should” or out of habit. Check in with yourself. Timing is everything. If you don’t feel it now, let it be.
It reminds me of a quote from “Ask and It is Given,” which I used in the past:
The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy, happiness, or appreciation, you are fully connected to the stream of pure, positive Source Energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.
No one else needs you to be or do things for them in order for them to be fulfilled–for all of them have the same access to the Stream of Well-Being that you do.
Ask and It Is Given, p88