Have you ever had a good friend who had a topic that when they talk about it, you know things are going to go off the rails? They bring it up, you feel a sinking feeling in your chest, knowing that it’s not going to go anywhere good, and gingerly you try to steer them away from the topic to something that will be more positive for them (and for you)? And what do they do? Do they acknowledge your efforts to keep them focused on something positive, thanking you as they see the error of their ways?
“Good friend of mine, thank you so much for trying to steer me towards a better-feeling thought than this sinking ship that has only one direction to go in and that is down. Thanks for helping me re-focus, so that I can stay in touch with my power, my satisfaction, my sense of worthiness and possibility!”
As if.
This same friend probably has many amazing qualities. They may have special skills, such that when they are on their game they are a sight to behold. When they are clear-minded and focused on a task at hand, you have never seen anyone with such empowered focused. Yet for some reason that you can’t figure out, they tend to focus in a way that leaves them in a disempowered state.
Why do they torture themselves so?
By and large, it seems that we humans have a tendency to shift our focus to whatever topic we happen to be on, willy-nilly. It is like we are a paper bag blowing in whichever direction the wind blows. We are, as Abraham puts it, “sloppy thinkers.” Instead of being deliberate, most of us demonstrate very little control of our own focus.
A result of this is that we have bugaboos, those “issues” that we chronically focus on even though they never feel good. Yet we, in our obliviousness, continue bring them up anyway, not aware of the toll it takes on our mood and therefore our life experience. Maybe we think we would rather be right , not realizing how it costs us our happiness while focused in such a way. Collective wisdom, common knowledge, popular culture–whichever sacred cow you refer to does not acknowledge the fact that we get to decide what we focus on in every moment. The difference in our state of mind is vast between thoughts that serve us and those that don’t.
This week I saw this clearly in myself. On the one hand, I experienced my own power, my confidence and joy as I focused in a way that is easy and fun and alive. It was lovely!
On the other hand, I caught myself thinking thoughts that didn’t feel good, didn’t serve me, and that clearly didn’t come from my Inner Being. I noticed that these thoughts were chronic, that they had occurred many times before and that I had let them. I had, in fact, confused them for “reality,” even though they never felt good!
That’s when I started thinking about the extreme dichotomy that exists between focusing on something that I am aligned about, versus focused on something I am not.
You can’t have it both ways. Either you focus on things that feel good, and they will buoy you, uplift you, and grant you a positive life experience. Or you focus on something that doesn’t feel good, and you will experience the frustrating results of that.
Make no mistake. You get to decide. Which is it going to be?