(I found today this reading through one of my journals. I had no recollection of writing it until I got to the surprise ending. Dated June 17, 2020)
Tom seems so strange to me. He always strikes me as upset. He frequently has a frown on his face. I ask him, “Why are you frowning, Tom?” And he says, “Oh… I didn’t realize I was.”
I often wonder what is going on for him. He seems so–how do you say?–moody. If we are to be friends, I think I should try to understand him better. Right now I find him–puzzling. I do not get why he can be laughing one minute, and then quiet the next, avoiding eye contact.
“You wouldn’t understand” is his usual reply when I asked him about it. He often seems angry that I asked.
“I’m sorry,” I reply, “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I was merely wondering what was the matter.”
Tom tries to be patient with me. When I ask these questions, he says nice-sounding things in response. Yet his body language and facial expressions say otherwise. I don’t think he likes to be bothered. There is a certain protectiveness at those times which I don’t understand. He seems upset, unhappy, yet if I reach out and ask him about it, he seems offended, as if I am somehow threatening him by asking.
I find this terribly confusing, as I only want to be his friend.
He seems to know this. “I know you’re trying to be nice,” he says to me. “But sometimes I just need you to understand I don’t always want to be questioned about how I feel. Just give me some time, and then I will be back to normal soon enough.”
It seems that Tom is very sensitive, especially when he’s in a bad mood. It seems that his emotional state is always changing, and he often seems to think I’m criticizing him when I am only asking for clarification.
I do not mean to provoke him. The fact is, I am trying to understand him. For I am a robot, and he is a human. I know that in many ways we are not alike, but I still feel that I should attempt to understand who he is.