So I didn’t make it in to the comedy troupe I tried out for. Yes, I’m bummed. Writing about it, I realized I was a bit sad, but I also felt a little bit of embarrassment, as if I had done something stupid and looked bad. I know that is not true. It seems that part of the pain of rejection or failure is fear of looking bad!
Anyway, I let that go as soon as I realized it was there. Also, four other people from my class did get in, which I admit at first stung a bit. But I didn’t let myself linger on it. There’s really no point. Now I’m genuinely happy for them.
When I’m honest, I think I may have expected not to get in. The breakthrough for me was going for it, something that felt to me like a long-shot. I broke out of the piano-playing mold and put my hat in the ring, and I was proud of myself afterwards.
Rather than bemoan the results, or judge myself harshly, I rather think of this first round as a good fact-finding mission. The process of going through the audition was revelatory for me. I’m sure next time will go better 😉
Also, undergoing this process showed me my own worthiness. I came away from the audition proud of myself. Bottom line is, in auditioning, I stepped into the unknown. I did something I haven’t done before. I said “Yes” to myself, and I feel stronger in myself for it.
Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the field of all possibilities. In your willingness to step into the unknown, you will have hte wisdom of uncertainty factored in. This means that in every moment of your life, you will have excitement, adventure, mystery. You will experience the fun of life–the magic, the celebration, the exhilaration, and the exultation of your own spirit.“The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success,” by Deepak Chopra, 87