Skip to content

My Happiness Obsession

365 Day Blogging Project #2 (Begun 7/3/22)

Menu
  • Home
  • About
  • Top Categories
    • Personal Growth
    • Money
    • Law of Attraction
    • Blogging
    • Running & Health
  • Complete Post Index
Menu

Day 269: Breathe in that Uncertainty

Posted on April 29, 2019

Where do “problems” originate? Are there actually any problems “out there” in the real world? Shakespeare said, “nothing is right or wrong, but thinking makes it so.” And I heard Wayne Dyer saying that the world is perfect as it is.

How often we find ourselves imagining problems that don’t turn out to be true! “She doesn’t like me,” when it turns out she likes me just fine. Or “That will never work,” and lo and behold, it works just fine! Or “I suck at this,” and it turns out that I’m great at it. How often our brains pre-emptively assume conflict, drama, or problems before there is actually any evidence of them. Am I the only one who experiences this? I don’t think so!

Recently I have been thinking a lot about uncertainty. In fact, I wrote about it the other day. Deepak Chopra says in his book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” that we should factor in uncertainty as an inevitable–no, essential!–part of the adventure of living. I wonder if our mind’s tendency to add dramatic interpretations without justification is a coping mechanism when dealing with life’s uncertainty.

After all, in each of the above negative statements (She doesn’t like me, that will never work, and I suck at this), there is an element of uncertainty there. After all, she might not like me. I don’t know for sure, right? If I did, and if I knew she liked me, if there wasn’t some uncertainty, then I wouldn’t be wondering about it, right?

And that thing (whatever that thing is) might not work. It might, but it might not. If we are doing something we haven’t done before, something we are not entirely sure the outcome of, there is uncertainty. We don’t know for sure if it will work or not. Yet why does it seem so automatic for our mind to assume the worst, to assume that it won’t work? It seems to be at least just as likely that it will work as that it won’t. After all, many things work, and many people do many things all the time that work.

Finally, saying “I suck at this” definitely implies a person in a situation of uncertainty. That person seems to be feeling doubt about their ability to do something. Yet why are they condemning themselves to suckiness? Do they really know that they suck? How much have they tried this particular thing? Is this an informed judgment, or is it a knee-jerk reaction borne out of their frustration and self-doubt? It seems to me that at least some of the time, if not a lot of the time, when people say they suck at something, the truth is not that they suck, but that they become impatient with themselves for not having easily figured out how to be good at that thing. They too are dealing with uncertainty–or in this case, you might say insecurity– as they attempt something they are not yet confident they are good at.

Going back to what I started with, it seems that very often, people make things seem much worse than they are. Very often, we imagine problems where there are none, don’t we? Those perennial mountains we make out of mole hills. In my beginning piano students, I have definitely seen this from time to time: they can be quick to evaluate and assess their progress (usually losing out in the evaluation), however they don’t actually have the experience or the perspective to judge their progress accurately. How often it seems we judge ourselves from our subjective, even irrational vantage point! And then we do the same in daily life situations. It seems to be automatic, recurring and unavoidable.

Maybe it’s some kind of adaptation of the brain’s survival mechanisms. I read in a book that our brain’s fear instincts have adapted to prefer being pessimistic over the likelihood of dangerous things occurring over being optimistic. This is the “better safe than sorry” approach to life. Of course, there seems to be a place for this, but when taken to an extreme, it seems it can turn us thinking individuals into human watch dogs who see a malicious intruder behind every mailman who approaches. Perhaps our mind’s security measures, in its desire to help us avoid problems, actually cause us to make problems, even if none otherwise exist.

There is also the problem of risk involved. Perhaps the brain, when facing uncertainty, knows that there is a possibility that we will fail. With that failure may come punishment or pain. Perhaps it has evolved the mechanism of negative thinking (such as “she doesn’t like me!”) as a self-protective measure to prevent us from risking a painful outcome.

All of which is to say that, it seems that we can’t help ourselves. We seem to create problems fairly consistently, or at least to be inclined to project and assume the worst.

So what is the solution? The solution seems to be presence. That is, presence of mind that so many great teachers talk about, being conscious, being in the present. So often I hear people recommending meditation as a way to get there. I take moments here and there to stop and just “be.” I often use writing to clear my own thoughts. I’m sure going for a nice walk by the park can do it, or even hanging out with a friend. Whatever can help us get out of our minds for awhile (no, not that way!), until the drama up there subsides.

Coming back to Wayne Dyer’s assertions that the world is perfect the way it is, there is this idea that there are no problems. Instead, there are only situations, circumstances we have to deal with. Yes, the outcome of some of these situations may be uncertain, but that doesn’t make them problems. If you meet someone who isn’t instantly friendly, and you don’t know how they feel about you, you don’t have to assume they don’t like you. You can acknowledge that you don’t really know this person, and that very likely with further interactions, you will develop rapport and become friends (if that is your wish).

I realize this isn’t always easy to do. It can be so easy for us to jump to conclusions. We don’t even realize that we are doing it! But we must stay open if we are to truly partake of this adventure called Life. Yes, I know: it’s easier said than done. Yet we all have the ability to get conscious, to be present, and to get back to the now.

For better or for worse, however, it is highly likely that problems will continue to come up in our minds. We will continue creating them, as life continues to bring us into uncertain situations. Yet we always have a choice whether to believe our mind’s default assumptions, or whether to hang out in the moment, breathe in that uncertainty, and see where it takes us.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Property of:

Recent Posts

  • Day 365: Don’t Overthink It!
  • Day 364: Missing It Already
  • Day 363: “Of Futile Efforts” (Original Music)
  • Day 362: Things Are Looking Up in Highly-Sensitive Land
  • Day 361: Today’s Appreciations

Read Posts by Category

Blogging (134) Books (88) Creative Writing (69) Creativity Topics (80) Higher Self (85) Home Life (21) Law of Attraction (139) Miscellaneous (109) Money (138) Movies (15) Music Career (58) Original Music (56) Personal Growth (352) Running & Health (128) Shenanigans & Ruminations (89)

Archives

Share this page

Share

More Recent Posts

  • Day 365: Don’t Overthink It!
  • Day 364: Missing It Already
  • Day 363: “Of Futile Efforts” (Original Music)
  • Day 362: Things Are Looking Up in Highly-Sensitive Land
  • Day 361: Today’s Appreciations
  • Day 360: Focus Where It Feels Best
  • Day 359: Along for the Market Ride, No Matter What (Part 2)
  • Day 358: A Week Away
  • Day 357: Taking Care of the Rest
  • Day 356: Take Your Happiness Into Your Own Hands (1000th Post!)
  • Day 355: More Under the Vibrational Hood
  • Day 354: Approaching My 1000th Post
  • Day 353: An Accomplishment of Self-Care
  • Day 352: The Book (Update #5)
  • Day 351: Some Honesty About Tonight’s Outing
  • Day 350: Inspired Action Over Habit
  • Day 349: A Consistent Yet Relaxed Running Life
  • Day 348: Using Affirmations Effectively
  • Day 347: What is the Essence?
  • Day 346: Tonight’s (Money-Related) Appreciations
  • Day 345: More on Mental Attitude
  • Day 344: Put Your Happiness First
  • Day 343: One Who Is a Visionary Thrives in All Times
  • Day 342: Facing the Music
  • Day 341: Today’s Appreciations
  • Day 340: Solitude, My Steady State
  • Day 339: Time to Make Peace with Being Highly-Sensitive
  • Day 338: Being Myself, the Way that Suits Me
  • Day 337: The Book (Update #4)
  • Day 336: Perfection is Over-Rated
  • Day 335: If It Doesn’t Fit For You, How Great Can It Be?
  • Day 334: Ten Accomplishments
  • Day 333: “From What Dimension” (Original Music)
  • Day 332: You Can’t Get There From Here
  • Day 331: Sniffing Out True “Hell Yeses”
  • Day 330: The Completely Invisible Yet Omnipresent Force
  • Day 329: The Keeper of My Happiness
  • Day 328: Today’s Appreciations
  • Day 327: 1000 Pieces. One Good Experience
  • Day 326: Chronos Says, “Vive La Difference!”
  • Day 325: Words for Zoning Out on Appreciation
  • Day 324: Fie, Dividends. Fie!
  • Day 323: Onto the “Too Hard” Pile!
  • Day 322: Learning to Make Myself Right
  • Day 321: Let’s Keep Playing Ball
  • Day 320: Trust Your Instincts
  • Day 319: Every Negative Mood is Based on a Misunderstanding
  • Day 318: Appreciating the Walk Break
  • Day 317: You Can’t Go Wrong Following Inspiration
  • Day 316: The Magic of “Our Universe”
  • Day 315: Work I Love
  • Day 314: I Need Me Some Happiness!
  • Day 313: You Can’t Have It Both Ways
  • Day 312: Along for the Market Ride, No Matter What
  • Day 311: The Book (Update #3)
  • Day 310: “Witnesses of Beauty”
  • Day 309: Tonight’s Appreciations
  • Day 308: Satisfied and Worthy, Doing Something Right
  • Day 307: The Lawless “Casino Age” of Banking
  • Day 306: Aiming to Feel Good Does Good
  • Day 305: Seven Days of Balanced Exercise
  • Day 304: Alignment is Worth the Wait
  • Day 303: Still Enjoying My Monthly Kiplinger’s Ritual
  • Day 302: Taking Score Too Soon?
  • Day 301: Drawn to Flexibility
  • Day 300: Dress Rehearsal for My Next Backpacking Trip?
  • Day 299: Happy Thoughts Produce Happy Lives
  • Day 298: I Enjoy a Well-Crafted Post
  • Day 297: Chernow’s “House of Morgan” and the 1929 Crash
  • Day 296: The Book (Update #2)
  • Day 295: Tonight’s Appreciations
  • Day 294: Netflix’s “How to Get Rich” (I Dig It)
  • Day 293: Shifting Your Vibration
  • Day 292: “In the Rhyming Zone” (Original Rhyme)
  • Day 291: Bay-to-Breakers 2023!
  • Day 290: More Answers to Quality Questions
  • Day 289: It’s the Experience!
  • Day 288: Toast
  • Day 287: Film Scoring Update (What I’m Learning)
  • Day 286: What We Make Of It
  • Day 285: “The Passion of Joan of Arc” (1928) – (Original Film Score)
  • Day 284: Bring on the Inspiration, Baby…
  • Day 283: Still On Message
  • Day 282: Appreciating Financial Education
  • Day 281: Long Live Appreciations
  • Day 280: The Book (Update #1)
  • Day 279: Thank You, Balance!
  • Day 278: Doing What Fits
  • Day 277: The Silver Lining of Short-Term Pain
  • Day 276: I’m Lovin It
  • Day 275: Attracting What I Want with the Satisfaction “Sniff Test”
  • Day 274: The Playful Whimsy of My “Bazinga” T-Shirt
  • Day 273: Loving the Synchronicities
  • Day 272: The Dramatics of the Mind
  • Day 271: I’m Digging the Mellowness
  • Day 270: Thoughts on Today’s 5k
  • Day 269: The Slow-and-Steady Machine Works Its Magic
  • Day 268: A 5k to Balance Recovery and Fun
  • Day 267: I Did That!
  • Day 266: Tuesday Night Appreciations
    ©2023 My Happiness Obsession | Design: Newspaperly WordPress Theme