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Day 193: Own your awesomeness!

Posted on February 12, 2019

Just this morning dropped off a big red bin full of old papers and notebooks for shredding. Some of these papers went back decades all the way to grade school. Some were papers from high school and college, and some were from the past ten years.

Going through my old papers was inspired by Marie Condo’s “Tidying Up,” which is truly awesome. I have been on a recent kick of tidying up my own stuff, which has coincided perfectly with my desire to reach for satisfaction in all things.

This latest aspect of the project started a few weeks ago when I brought out my boxes of paper. I started with three bins of stuff. I went through them all and narrowed that down to two bins. In the process, I got to reconnect with my childhood self, and I liked the vision of myself revealed in what I saw: someone who always did his best, and left a trail of successes everywhere he went

Today I (finally) ditched the old papers. I didn’t just want to drop them off in the recycling bin. I felt a true ritual was warranted. So I brought them to be shredded. It felt good to complete the process I started a few weeks ago, you know, get the shit out of the house (!). All the way to the finish line!

It’s so satisfying to let go of what no longer serves me (or did it ever serve me to hold onto it?) I just love the whole philosophy of joy and satisfaction. “Does it spark joy?” or “Is it satisfying?” two different ways of saying the same thing. “Do you want to bring this into your future?” is another question that was asked on Tidying Up. In other words, with your own stuff, ask yourself, is this something that you see your ideal self having? Is it worth carrying forward into your future?

I may have gotten rid of a lot of stuff, but what I bring into the future with me is the realization of the awesomeness that is me. I spent too much time unaware of this or taking it for granted, doubting it instead of recognizing it.

All of which to me points out the truth that many of us are just too hard on ourselves. Mostly, we are good people, who basically do a good job in life, and do our best to be good to others. Yet being that and owning that are two different things, as I was just reminded. Too often, in my experience the awareness of our awesomeness can get clouded by little disappointments, attachments, and stories we make up when things don’t go the way we want them to. “He doesn’t like me” becomes “I must be unlovable,” and so a disappointment can become a complex.

It doesn’t have to be! Let’s make room for our own sense of our awesomeness and bring that into our future instead!

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