Day 83: Going through my process

So I got to Day 83 on this journey.  That’s closing in on 1/4 of the way through the year-long project.  Hurray! That means I can type words up daily and post them.  Congratulations, that is a first in my online career.

At the same time, I wonder about my attitude about sharing this blog.  I mean, certainly I share each post on Facebook, and so a few friends or family are seeing this.  But obviously, most of my Facebook friends don’t automatically see it.  Other than that, I have done little online to promote this blog.  Haven’t tweeted it, shared on Instagram, or sent an email to my mailing list (although one is in the works).

Am I holding myself back, and if so, why?

Let me take a look.  Note: the thoughts you are about to read are likely not to be works of genius.  They are probably survival-based doo doo from my lizard brain (the name I first heard from Seth Godin):

If I share this with lots of people there will be more eyes potentailly criticizing me

If I share this with lots of people that means it has to be good.  What if it isn’t?

If I share this with lots of people then people might realize how (neurotic, weird, unprofessional, crazy… insert unflattering adjective here) I actually am, and I will lose my professional reputation and be black-listed as a villainous freak (okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but you get the point)

If I start sharing this a lot, then it will put pressure on me to “monetize” this or somehow make this “official” and “professional.” And having it be low-key and my own personal project I show to a more select group of people is helping me with my process.  I don’t really intend for this as some kind of business or public blog, in the sense that it is not really designed, currently, to get subscribers, build a fan base, or become an expert on a certain topic.  It is a place for me to practice writing and publishing every day, and expressing myself honestly and openly.  It’s meant to be a practice ground for future projects or ideas, and as it is, I like to keep a low profile

Okay, so this last paragraph actually had something of substance to say, hence I let myself keep writing.  That all makes a certain kind of sense.  Because, in a sense, I’m really not tied down to write for a specific audience, it does give me a certain kind of freedom.  I like having minimal reason to overthink my writing each day.  I wonder if I would feel the same freedom if all eyes really were on me.

At the same time, it can be a little bit disheartening to write “for no one,” or very nearly that.  Or, is it just that I fear looking bad?  Hmm, that actually makes sense.  Some part of me must be a little worried that I will look like an idiot writing a daily blog that has hardly any comments and small readership. Yet even this is pure lizard brain bunk!!  Ha! Caught ya!

Thinking this through, I’m still quite happy with the 365 Day Blog Project.  It is basically achieving its stated goal.  I would like to expose it to more eyes, yet overall, it’s okay if it stays somewhat low profile as I go through my process 🙂

 

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