Day 44: The Pitfalls of Laying it All Out There

The last few days I have gone out on a limb, posting from “My Higher Self.” This has been slightly nerve-wracking, because of my old tendency to try to protect myself from criticism of any kind, and, though this blog has so far probably mostly been read by only a few friends and family, it is technically on the World Wide Web and all and therefore is subject to the possibility of consumption by anyone. 

I suppose I have adjusted to the idea that doing posts where I expose my own foibles or insecurities just comes with the territory of My Happiness Obsession.  But “channeling,” if indeed that is what I was doing… frankly, even posing as someone capable of being “wise” and answering questions for others about life… I admit this stuff is relatively unsettling.

I definitely feel like I am sticking my neck out.

And yet I persist.  Today, I admit, I did not much feel like writing this post (!).  Yet I committed to doing it for a year, and there really is no reason not to write a new post other than squeamishness about the nature of this blog 🙂

So I’m going to keep going…

Fabulous, Chris.  That is extraordinary.  You are a daring soul!  You triumph, you excel.  You are sharp as a tack, and brilliant too!

Okay, thanks… I guess.  Sometimes when “you” write this stuff, and it sounds like that, about me being “sharp as a tack,” I start to wonder what people are going to think of “you” writing about me that way.  What does that even mean?

Chris, people will think whatever they think.  People already do.  They already think what they think of the birds, the breeze, the sky, their town, their cars, their wives, and their baseball teams  You aren’t going to change their minds much, sorry to disappoint you 😉

What are you saying?

I’m saying, people already think of you what they think of you.  Anyone who has seen this blog has already formed their opinion: whether it’s kooky, imaginative, brilliant, or… crazy 🙂

Yeah, I guess.  Something has driven me to just “laying it all out here.”  Not really sure what it is.

Yes you are.  You know why you do this.

Because I want to be free to express myself and share myself and not be afraid.

Even more, you want to soar.  You want to be free to share your gifts with the world.  Your point of view.  Whatever that may be, in whatever form that may be in.  This blog is a great place for you to overcome the challenges of “fitting in the box.”  Here, as with your rhyming journals, you refuse to fit into a box.  You simply go wherever you wish.  You make the rules.

And now you are doing it in a public setting.  That is what makes this unique and different from anything you have done before.

I guess so.  Although I did do quite a lot of different posts on my artist website, including rap videos and out-of-the-box things like that.  But the cool thing about this blog is that it is not “trying” to be commercial or market things or anything.  It’s just creativity, expression, and exploration.

In that sense it is perfect for you!  Perfect for what you are up to.

Yeah, I guess you are right.  I like it 🙂

So, yeah, I guess I am just gonna see this through.

Of course you are going to see this through.  You committed!  And that matters to you.  And after all, as you say, there’s really no reason not to.  What’s the harm?  It’s your personal blog.  What harm can it do to express yourself?  This is your canvas.  Paint, son, paint!

Yeah, I guess I am doing that.  Onward!

Okay, I have a question.  So, I have been doing these posts with you, “My Higher Self,” for the past few days.  Before that, I did a lot of normal “me” posts.  So, should I keep doing these posts with you, or can I go back to being normal?

Haha, that is very funny, Chris.  Because you couldn’t be normal if you tried.  And you have tried!  How did that go?

Well, it didn’t go well, I guess.  In my life, I mean.  But I mean, it’s just more out of my comfort zone to write these posts with you.  On the other hand, I really get a lot out of stretching.  Out of stretching my comfort zone.  I guess maybe this is what I am doing. Stre-eeeeeeee-tching.

Yes, indeed, Chris.  Remember, you are always at the helm.  You always get to decide what you are doing, who you are being, what you are focusing on, and what you want to write about.  You get to decide!  It’s up to you.  Life is up to you.  You get to choose!  You are at choice, my friend! 

Thank you 🙂  I like that.

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