A few months back I joined a Facebook group for highly sensitive people because I had never sought out other “HSPs” before and was curious what I’d find.
What I found has been a mixed bag. On one hand, I relate to them, and they relate to me. There’s a common life experience that highly-sensitive people seem to share. On the other hand, the tone of the posts tends to be negative. Some of the people sound more like “victims” of high sensitivity than people using the distinction of being highly-sensitive to increase their personal happiness.
This got me thinking. I were to talk to other HSPs about happiness, what would I say? What would be the keys of a “Highly Sensitive Person’s Guide to Happiness”?
Here’s what I got so far…
Ten Do’s and Don’ts for Happy Highly Sensitive People
- Do: Prioritize your self-care. That’s right: put yourself first. If noises bother you, wear ear plugs or noise-cancelling headphones. If you need to rest on weekends instead of going out, do that. Whether it’s taking naps, doing yoga, jogging in the mornings, or taking a painting class, give yourself time for things that recharge or relax you.
- Don’t: Expect the world to get you. They won’t. Most of the world is not HSP. They can tolerate loud noises, social drama, big groups for days on end, and going out almost incessantly. By and large, they mean well, but the average non-HSP probably has a different way of navigating the world, and that is ok. Let them, while you focus on being good to yourself.
- Do: Appreciate the strengths your sensitivity gives you. Whether it is empathy, art, music, being in nature, being an expert in your field, your sensitivity probably gives you an edge in appreciating life and making a difference for others.
- Don’t: Expect yourself to be like non-HSPs. When others at the party are just getting going, you may be done. When your co-workers want to stop at the bar, you may need to go home for a very important date petting your cat. Try not to live your life by other people’s rules.
- Do: Define your own rules and design your life around joy. What do you care about? What do you most enjoy spending your time doing? As an HSP, you are in the unique position to design your life, your way!
- Don’t: Use your high-sensitivity as an excuse to blame others or play the victim. Everyone and everything in life has a purpose, including you. You do not need to hide in shame or discomfort. You can make your life better, if you are committed to it.
- Do: Value your instincts. If there is one trait we HSPs possess, it is instinct. We are intuitive and feeling-oriented humans. This is a good thing, but sometimes we must undo cultural programming that has told us to ignore our inner guidance. If we want to be happy, we must pay attention. We must tune in.
- Don’t: Let yourself be inundated by the world. If the news, world events, or social media feel like too much, you don’t have to suffer tolerating it. You have can set boundaries for how much you take in. Being less informed is a small price to pay for being happier. Also, there are more rewards from living life fully in the here and now than focusing on the world’s problems, which you probably cannot do much about.
- Do: Be compassionate with yourself. Being highly sensitive is not always easy, especially when we face challenges that many other people don’t seem to face. It is important that we be kind to ourselves. Judging ourselves or imagining inferiority does not help. Learning to love ourselves unconditionally is essential.
- Don’t: Forget what makes you special. You have many brilliant gifts and abilities. You probably have rich experiences in your daily life, close connections, and personal projects that give you joy. You probably positively influence others around you every day. This is worth cherishing!