“If you will release all concern about how others feel about you, and focus only upon how you feel about them, you will unearth your core understanding of who you really are and you will discover what true freedom really is.”
-Abraham-Hicks
This quote is at the heart of what I believe to be the key to happiness: being at the source of your life experience. Taking responsibility, owning how you feel, whatever you want to call it. This is the philosophy of “making your own weather,” by which I mean, determining that YOU are in charge of your experience, YOU are in charge of your thoughts and feelings, YOU are in charge of your mood, and you will not let anyone or anything else determine these things for you (or blame them as if they do!).
As relates to relationships, many is the time–especially prior to attracting this beautiful quote into my life–when I imagined that my experience was dependent on the behavior of others. I learned my share of victimization, not proud to say, and gave my power away repeatedly.
“He said this,” and “They didn’t do this...” Walking around like a wounded animal with a chip on his shoulder, imagining the wrongs perpetrated upon me like mistakes allowed by an uncaring God, things that “shouldn’t have happened.” There I was, powerless and unhappy, unable to alter unpleasing conditions… or so I thought.
I did not realize that the problem was… me. That is, the problem was that I gave a lot of importance to how “they” feel, and what “they” think and do. But what about how I feel about them (whoever “them” happens to be)? Don’t I have the power to appreciate others? Don’t I have the power to imagine the positive aspects of others? Don’t I have the power, maybe just maybe, to influence my experience by taking on a positive view of others?
I mean, isn’t it possible that other people are waiting for me to change, just as I was waiting for them? Wouldn’t it be easier if I just took matters into my own hands? Wouldn’t I feel a lot freer if I were to imagine how I want each relationship to go, and cultivate thoughts that will attract those good qualities to me?
Perhaps I will be more satisfied if, instead of waiting for my life to work out how I want it–as if by chance–I decide to do the creating myself.
What a concept!
That’s what is at the heart of this quote. It’s about taking matters into your own hands, and deciding that you will not be a victim, you will not be a blamer, you will not be a complainer. Instead, you will focus on how you want to feel about others. You will focus on who you are being, and the mood you are giving off. Instead of waiting for everyone else to conform to your own whims and wishes, why not extend to others that wish you would receive?
Why not be as the Sun, and shine brightly and generously, with no thought of how “they” return the favor? Because when you emanate that much power, you really don’t need anything from others to be ok, do you?